Every Sunday, when I was a youngster over 70 years ago, we had company. We always went to church in the morning, then most Sundays we returned home joined by at least one other family who enjoyed my mother’s great cooking, and usually stayed for the afternoon. Occasionally, we would be guests of another family. Kids would play outside (even in wintertime), the women would do the dishes, and the afternoon was filled with visiting, an occasional music jam, or horseshoe game. The coffee pot was always on, the cookie jar full, and friends and neighbors were always welcome, not just on Sundays. That was my home life. My husband’s was similar here on this ranch. Every community for miles around had a roping club. Sunday afternoons (except during winter) families would gather at one club’s headquarters or another; the fellows, young and old, roped; kids played games; the women brought lunches and the whole afternoon was enjoyed by everyone. People neighbored and visited one another, but it seems that those days are gone. Our whole lifestyle from the post-war years has changed and not necessarily for the better.
It’s easy to reminisce about the good times we had years ago, a time when money was scarce and we did not have the amenities we enjoy today and perhaps the lack of all the material things we now have is the reason for the change. We did not have television, computers, cell phones, multiple vehicles, boats, and recreational equipment. We did not travel much or take costly vacations. It was a simple life we lived and I miss it. Folks also socialized a lot by belonging to organizations such as lodges and clubs, church circles, extension clubs, cowbells, and the like. These are all but disappeared today.
My husband had several good friends who he visited quite often over the phone. One day he called his friend, Neal Fry, a horseman who lived in central Nebraska. Before hanging up, Neil said, “Come see me sometime, Glen.” Glen replied, “I will one of these days when I get time.” The old boy then said, “You’ll take time to come to my funeral.” He was right. The next day, Glen drove down and spent the day with him; they had a great day visiting, and sadly, it was not long before we took time to go to his funeral.
When my parents were elderly, as well as my mother-in-law, they rarely had a visitor. I remember how my dad entertained the residents of the nursing homes at Gordon, Rushville, and Hay Springs, Nebraska once a week (sometimes returning for a birthday party), and once a month at the Hot Springs Veterans Home, for over 30 years, every week! He brought so much joy to them and the only reward was a 30-year citation from R.S.V.P. My mother baked almost daily, taking treats to shut-ins. She constantly made comforters and lap robes for residents of the care centers. My mother-in-law also spent many otherwise lonely days doing kindly deeds for others,
Yet when my parents and my mother-in-law were fairly confined to their home, they rarely had a visitor. They all three had well-attended funerals but how I wish some of those attendees would have taken time to visit them when they could have enjoyed the company.
That comment by Neal Fry certainly instilled in us the need to actually go visit friends and relatives while we can, but I’m ashamed to say that I too have not done my part in being a good friend or neighbor and need to do better. The older we get, the more friends we are losing, and it would be good to go back to those old-fashioned methods of being a good neighbor.